Emerging from Behind the Redwood Curtain

It has been awhile, blog-land. And I considered starting a new blog as I am amidst transitions in my life and it made sense just to start over since it has been so long. But I decided to keep with this one. Not because I think that I am a phenomenal writer, or that anyone is reading or dieing with anticipation to hear about how things are going for me, but because this is a way to chart my personal growth, my productivity, my progress. This is for me.

SO, I moved to Eugene, Oregon! I have been here for two weeks now. I moved here alone. No, I don't have a job here or a lover here or a reason, really, to be here. Accept, why the hell not? I don't have kids. I am single. I am in my late twenties and I am open to adventure, possibilities, magic and beauty. I am unbound in everyway. Sign me up! I had been interested in Oregon and had the sense that my next move would be north. I felt drawn here for sometime. But, with jobs and friends and family and lovers, a few years went by. So, I decided if not now...then when?

SO. Here I am. Wait, here I am? I know no one? I don't have a job? FUCK.

Actually, I am making my way. I have made a few friends and have enjoyed exploring. Biking in Eugene is great with such beautiful streets all lined by big, marvelous old trees that arch overhead. And the colors! WOW! I realized...I have NEVER lived in a place that really exemplified fall, bursting with warmth and beauty. I have become a leaf-collecting-mad-person! I find myself uncontrollably pulling over and hopping off my bike to marvel at the fallen leaves and their brilliancy. Today, I swirved off the road today to take a gander at this row of four established trees that glowed a bright, warm orange in their centers and radiated a deep burgundy outward. A scruffy older man walked past me and grumped, obviously confused as to why I had stopped dead in my tracks. I didn't care, I was in awe of the spectacle before me.

Finding a job, however, has proven more difficult. I have been bartending and serving for over 8 years. My last two jobs I was hired, without either barely interviewing me,based purely on the reputation I had earned of being genuinely hard-working, creatively inspired, and experienced. I had, of course, heard that Oregon was a place notoriously difficult to score a job. But, dang....really? I am about to head over to Applebees for their 'Hiring Bonanza!' Oh, God. Please help me. Or at least wish me luck.

I am but a child of the cosmos.

Today has been one of those magically rare days where...

a deeper understanding than usual has overcome me regarding 

the absolutely absurd perfection of this universe we call home,

of the balance and rightness of it all, 

of my place within it.

No ifs or buts, no wondering why or trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together 

or attempting to wield anything in my favor.

 Just a sincere acceptance of what is and a gratitude for the  

wondrous orchestration, the overwhelming symmetry, the give and take of life. 

I love days like these where I feel the 

Universe has taken me under her wing 

and I am but a child of the cosmos, 

who knows not of her mysterious reasons why...

 and that is perfectly. OK. 

My only wish is

that I will find myself visiting this beautiful place 

again sometime soon.

Travel-FEATHER-light Challenge!

Planning for our trip to Hawai'i.

Official COUNTDOWN: we leave in FIFTEEN DAYS.

My objective: to pack super-stealth-feather-light.

We will be camping, hiking and traveling by foot for most of the trip and we are spending 10 whole days on the islands AND I am a chronic over packer. (My Burning Man kit this past summer was RIDICULOUS. I ended up wearing only two outfits and my vintage fur coat the majority of the week.) The actual problem: I have an eclectic style and a wardrobe to match with many prized vintage pieces that I have gathered. I don't tend to incorporate these pieces in my daily-garb between the work and school grind. I tend to dress more simply and having worked in the service industry for...awhile...my day-to-day wardrobe consists of a lot of blacks and grays. SO, for my far-out-vacations, I tend to let loose, letting my inner boho, dharma bum, free spirit out. As an artist, it is difficult to predict my mood and how I will want to express myself.

Gosh, this is hard!

SO, I am trying my darndest to pack ONLY what I need, the BARE MINIMUM, and what I will actually wear. I have taken a peek at some traveling tips online from those ladies who are award-winning-minimalists and I am in awe.

Wish me luck!

28...I made it!

My birthday was last Saturday February the 9th and it was.....beautiful, heart warming, fulfilling. My birthday was a concentration of my life, all packed into one day while simultaneously being a relaxing, easy going, mellow day. I was surrounded by some really brilliant souls, and felt the love and admiration of many others that weren't able to spend my birthday with me physically. It was all a reflection of the life I have come to be living, a combination of gifts and blessings given so gracefully to me by the Universe, my family, my friends and the hard work I have done with my own two hands in looking at myself honestly and in building my framework, my foundation from the ground up.

Highlights of my day:

• Waking up to my parents joyfully and energetically serenading me at my doorstep! (So cute! AND scoring a JUICER! YAY!
• Eating a casual brunch with a few of my favorite goldies at my place. (Goldies: my term for brightly spirited individuals, there light shining strong!) And receiving some really thoughtful gifts. :)
• The beginning of a serious expenditure: the search for the oldest tree in Humboldt County. I was unaware that this tree is one of Humboldt County's best kept secrets! ONWARD: the search continues! 
• LOVE letters! <3 Yes. I have the most beautiful friends. I received love few letters from some of my very dear friends. AND a few very touching cards that really spoke to my heart. (How many times did I cry?)
• Kyotos. Obviously. Dinner was amazing, as usual. 
• Groovin' to Buddy Reed and the Rip It Ups. Raw, raunchy, blues. Doesn't get any betta!
• Family dinner the next day with some seriously AMAZING vegetable lasagna my Mums made from scratch. YUM!
• Feeling really appreciated and loved by a handful of really beautiful beings. I am blessed!

 28 feels good. Life feels good. <3

Collaborative Efforts

Another dear friend of mine's birthday is today! To celebrate her birth, her being alive, her being a powerful force who I feel honored to be friends with, I wanted to offer support and encouragement for her as she has recently, righteously charged down her path with a furry and determination I have never seen. She has been working on restructuring her foundation for herself, which seems perfectly understandable since she is turning 29 and is in the thick of her return of Saturn, where every thirty-ish (can be twenty seven-thirty three) years one comes into contact with their authority in a new way and is given the choice and opportunity to recalibrate themselves and to realign themselves on their path and to FIERCELY take charge. (I have been in the thick of it for about a year now, as I am turning 28 in a few days, and let me tell ya, good ole' Saturn's return is a VERY real thing!) It is definitely a challenging time in life where ultimate choices are made that have long lasting effects. Even in choosing to not react to a deeper intuitive knowing or hunch on something in one's life, is in fact making a very real choice that seems to ripple outward in one's pond exponentially.

Anywho...my friend has just miraculously taken charge of her life, of her responsibility toward herself and toward making her life HER OWN. It has been so incredibly inspiring hearing her tales and in her confessions of bewilderment, as she has no idea where this drive is coming from. I decided to celebrate her with building her an altar. I envisioned creating a space that would be a reminder of the overwhelming support and admiration she has from, not only myself, but from SO many people. I initially had ideas of sneaking into her house and having it all nailed to the wall to surprise her. BUT, that seemed....not quite right. It came to me, to assist my friend in constructing her own altar! I will be...creative support, direction, motivation, inspiration....or whatever she needs from me! I have provided a shelf and an attached box, which was generously constructed out of Redwood by my sister. I gave her some framed affirmations, some quotes.

All of the 

beauty 

that has ever existed in the Universe, 

exists 

within 

YOU.

I am not claiming to be a spiritual psychic or intuitive that can help realign people with their true selves. I am claiming only to be a person who sincerely supports others of their own self-development, self-discovery, self-love, and self-acceptance. I feel one of my duties in this existence, in this life, is to be a spiritual supporter, confidant, and to help people to find their own personal processes in what works for them. I feel my job is to help other spirits to thrive  and to fulfill their higher potentials in anyway I can and I am personally inspired and motivated by those who dig down deep, getting their hands filthy, dirty with their buried memories, emotions, desires, hopes, dreams. I am charged by those who take responsibility for themselves and for their destinies on this realm. 

It is an exciting time to be alive! I feel such gratitude for being here, being alive, being given the gift of waking up each morning and in reaching, almost, my 28th birthday! I have a feeling...that this will be the best year yet! 

  

Search the Darkness

Life's waters flow from darkness.

Search the darkness, don't run from it. 

Night travelers are full of light

And you are, too. Don't leave this companionship.

Be a wakeful candle in a golden dish.

Don't slip into the dirt like quicksilver.

The moon appears for night travelers

Be watchful when the moon in full.

-Rumi

Exploring Humboldt.

After living in a place for nearly ten years, one would think that I had exhausted all my exploring options. NOT A CHANCE. Adventuring in Humboldt county is seriously never-ending. Profoundly limitless. Ridiculously infinite. No joke. Even in the winter time, where overcast skies and rains grace a good five to six months of the year, there are still soooooooooooooo many beautiful places to go see and experience.



Me, atop a mighty dune!

Recently, my room mates took me to Ma-le'l Dunes in Manila. WOW. I couldn't believe that I had never been here! It is so accessible and so magical. We parked just off of Young Lane and explored only the southern-most trail that begins in a fantastical coastal forest with moss dripping and dangling from tree limbs, big multicolored mushrooms alongside the trails, and thick bright green moss covering the forest floor. It seemed I had stepped into Alice's Wonderland, but had forgotten the psychedelics! The trail converges from forest to marsh land and then to the majestic, shape-shifting dunes and finally to the beach. It seemed other-worldly, way out there. And with such a vastness, one rarely ran into anyone else. Great for jogging and hiking, and also for quite meditation and introspection.



Gailen, David and Poncho striding along the beach.

Ma-le'l Dunes are 444 acres of protected BLM and US Fish and Wildlife protected land. The southern portion is dog friendly, where the northern portion is closed off to dogs. Friends of the Dunes has some good information and great maps including dog friendly trails and a plant-guide.

http://www.friendsofthedunes.org/resources/malel/

A sunset view through the forest that border the dunes.

In talking with friends and acquaintances about my experience, many were unfamiliar and it seems Me-l'el is somewhat off the radar. I have been shared a treasure! I am looking forward to doing more exploring here.

Delicate treasure, shore-bound. 

Enormous creatures, such as this, are strewn all along the beach awaiting disovery.

Self Portrait, on Ma-l'el Dunes.